i wasted my life on those bullshit
i regret everything
after that my mom is gone,
i hated my life
zaina slept in my house for a week
then she went back to her family
i thought and thought
why am i doing this?
i'm a BITCH
i know that
but i'm gonna change
in a blink of an eye
a lot of things change
i don't want to die this way
im not gonna be the same me anymore
i left zaina , m7amd and ali
----------------with zaina------------------
me: zaina i dont want to be who i am anymore
zaina: what you mean
me: i dont know what i was thinking about when i told you i love you
i never thought that i will be a lesbo someday
i want to change
i wanna be a good girl
i wanna be the old me
the girl who used to be with her mother all the time
the girl who asks her mother before doing any single thing
i hate my self
i hate everything
i dont wanna be lesbian anymore
please understand me you're my best friend my sister
i love you but this way
i want to end everything between us even our friendship
zaina: awh yeah i understand,
...
...
...
zaina: mnera?
me: hmm?
zaina: i just want to tell you that i love you!
i will never forget you
i thought we're gonna be friends like before
but you asked me to end everything
you asked me to forget you
well, i cant and you should know that
-you are the best thing that ever happened in my life
-you will be the one who i'll think about all the time
before i sleep
when i have nothing to do
when i lie on bed doing nothing
when i wake up
when i listen to a love song
- you are the one i loved the most
more than myself
more than anything
but i don't think you fell for me
if you did you wont let go of me
you would hold on me hold on to our love
you don't love me the way i love you
you will forget me easily
but i won't forget you till the end of the world
mara7 y2thr feich hal kalam, so
goodluck in your life
and goodbye
me: bye
then i deleted her number
she was sad i know
But what can i do?
....
-------------------with ali------------
ali knew about my mom
he called me:
ali: mnaor aby achofch
me: what ?? hhh no 3li noo
i'm gonna change i answered you to tell you that i want to forget you i will change
ali: mnera a7bich!!!!
me: ali! bye
....
---------------with m7amd-----------
i sent him a text massage
telling him everything
he understood me
and we are over
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
life is short
i realized that the mother is everything
she knows what's right and what's wrong
she loves us
she cares
she's the person we need
i lost her
who els do i have?
Stepmother ?
young brother?
fake friends?
people i have left?
i started to have these long nights where i just lay down in bed and remember things i wish them to come back
i will miss my old life
i will miss the old people
i wish life goes on the way i want
they way i choose
the way i decide
months later
i was in qurtoba co-op
with 3abod
then i saw zaina
she gave me that look
and her eyes filled of tears
and she smiled
i smiled back
and went
.......
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hey my lovely readers
i really love you guys
and this is the end
i will miss youuuu alot
i hate endings
gooooooddddbbbbyyyyeeeeeee love you all :*****
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