Tuesday, October 2, 2012

chapter 7

over-thinking is killing me




i cant live in his lie anymore





i cant see my mom like this




she doesn't know whats happening behind her



im trying to find a way that i can let her know this




but i don't want something bad to happen




cause they are my parents i love them




so i decided 




and i will do it









12 am

finally my parents came back

i was in the room

telling my self

" i can do it"

" i will do it"

...


....


....


i went to their room

my mom was sitting on the bed talking to grandma 

my dad wasn't there

as soon as she closed the phone i told her


" yuma ana lazem agolch"



mom: shetgolen?

me: oboy ...

mom: shfee?




me: he's cheating in you

my mom was so shocked that her mouth was open 

the way i told her was really stupid

mom: entay shga3ed tgolen?

suddenly my dad popped 

" ENTAY SHETGOLEEEEEN?"

yelling at me



he was in the bathroom

fuck am i that stupid i forgot that maybe he will be in the bathroom 

wrong time

wrong place

wrong way to say it


me: ana ga3d agol el9ij!!

mom: shlun?

me: i heared him talking to a girl in the middle of the night walla sma3ta

mom: "laughed" ana kent ga3d a7achy

dad: khalay 3endch theqa feny

me: whaaat ?? yuma walla el3athem w tahawsht ma3ah w gale ena ga3d y7achy rfeja!

mom: ana knt daga 3aleh elfayer gabl cham youm

it shows that the night after maybe mom called dad but she wouldn't believe me

both of them shouted at me 


i cried

but i'm not that weak !
i'm gonna let her believe me

i took my daddy's phone

i told him to open it

he did

the truth is he wasn't afraid !

i searched "خلف بو2"
















"not found"




crap ! he changed it








suddenly i "dad's phone" received a whatsapp message






from "العنزي فهد"

its says 


"حبيبي"
"وينك"
"رديت البيت"

neyahaha

got youuuu

  i opened the chat

w i showed mom everything !

she really was shocked

when i saw the tear that fell from my mom's eye

i regretted doing this

i really don't know why the hell did i do that

whats wrong with me

i knew that mom isn't strong enough to know the truth

i blew up everything

they had a fight and my mom went out of the house 

12 and half am !!!




dad: 12 belail ween btro7een??

mom: wakher 3anyyy


and shes gone .....



dad: sheftay shsawetaaay?

i gave him my back and went to my room

i tried to call mom but i knew after that she forgot her phone in the house 



huhhhhh

" what have i done?''


"i wish i could run"


"away from this ship going under"


"im just trying to help"


"by showing the truth"


"i just hurt everyone else"


"i feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulder"


"what can i do ?"


"i just want to fix it''


"can i start again?"


"my best intentions keeps making a mess of things"


"i have to stay and face my mistakes"


" how can i get stronger and wiser to get through this?"


"my good isn't good enough "


"where can i find someone who will see how much i care"


"its another night of tears"


i cried as hard as i could 

i don't care how loud it was

i woke-up the next day

i went to the bathroom

when i got out

i found my parents in the living room

my mom was crying 

i blew up everything

when i came 

mom hugged dad 

and now they are ok!

she got mad at him just for a one night?

is that all she can do?

and now she trusts him again?

its over!

i want them to be back together

but there fight lasted for 1 night 

maybe he didn't leave that girl

huffff if i catch him again !!!!.......

day passed normally 



today is the first day at my collage #cba

i was afraid 

waayyeed  mu shwaya

i had to let my parents drive me there

and i dont know the way too!

when i was in the car

watching the girls and boys

my heart rate raised 

me; mabyy aroo77 akhaaaaf

dad: shnu tkhafen ? chena awal youm belmadresa

me: akhaaf 

mom: samay w yala nezlay

me: mabyyy 

both my parents laughed

mom: yalla nezlay manor khala9 kebarty e3tamday 3ala nafsch

i don't know why kent 7AAIL khayfa!

tear fell from my eye

dad; "laughed so hard"

tabecheen? men 9ij? shnu ykhare3 bel-jam3a?

me: madry wen arou7 ma adl ma a3rf shasawe mabyyy

mom: haw manoor men 9ijch tabchen yalla 3ad la tetdal3een

this conversation went up by letting both my mom and dad to drive me to the class

i wasn't embarrassed of me walking with my parents in the collage just like a little girl 
on her first day at school


i held my moms hand

me: yuma b6ny y3wrney

mom: 3adee

dad: shofay elnas sh7alathom maykhafon 3ade maku shay

me: yumma baraje3 yumaaaaa

we ran to the bathroom 

and of course dad asked everyone where is the restroom

till we went there

but i didn't throw-up 

my parents walked to me to the class

dakhlt ga3adt with the other girls and the doc was there

when i sat 

i saw mom&dad wore waving to me and smiling 

doc "laughed" law sma7taw

and they are gone

i hid my face

i was embarrassed when they did such a stupid thing!
lol


anyway


at the gathering
, friday 

after lunch

while eating dessert 

my mom said what happened to everyone and they laughed so hard

i chatted with aisha

me: 3awash yousef yabeny a6la3 ma3ah elyoum

aisha: 6el3ay

me; hmm madryy

aisha: w ana bchuf 3aziz ba3d

me: 3ad wen nro7

aisha: walla madryy



........


---------------
@thereisnochance

http://ask.fm/thereisnochance

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